Feeding Objects

Let’s start out with a current project. One that hasn’t succeeded, but hasn’t failed. It’s simply limping along. Maybe the we can switch it to a different kind of food or maybe we’ll simply “drop it off at the farm.” And by “we,” I mean “me.”

Feeding Objects is as basic an idea as you can get. It is simply a site where people post pictures of themselves feeding things to inanimate objects. Dumb with the possibility of being hilarious. Just like all of my projects. But how did I come up with this idea? I couldn’t remember, but I knew how to find out.

If I have a dumb idea, odds are I’ve run it by Corey Anderson. Corey is my improv and podcast partner, and we’ve known each other for about 15 years now. I don’t necessarily trust his judgment (Transformers was a terrible movie), but we keep a rather constant email correspondence going. And those emails are a fine enough time to bring up ideas, dumb or not.

I’m not looking for a particular reaction from Corey. If he thinks that an idea is dumb, I’ll probably still move forward with it. But telling Corey is the first time my idea is put into words. The first time I see it outside of my own brain. It isn’t rattling along in my head, cold and alone, any longer. It has been introduced into the world.

Corey isn’t going the follow up on the idea. He doesn’t keep me on track. He doesn’t encourage the me to keep at it. I’m not looking for him to improve the idea. Yet, half the projects I think of wouldn’t leave my brain if I didn’t have this first step.

So, yeah. I found an email string with Corey from May 5th, 2010. Let’s see. We discuss Lost for a bit. Man, Kate is annoying. And then we talk about Feeding Objects. How did I come up with it? Records show it was a shower idea.

What is a shower idea? It’s as easy a concept to understand as mushing food into inanimate objects. Shower ideas are ideas I come up with in the shower. Now don’t you feel silly for asking “what is a shower idea?”

I generally come up with ideas in the shower or car. We’ll take a look into that in a later post, because it’s something I want to explore and figure out. Can’t say I understand why ideas come out when they do. I’m not promising that I will figure it out. But I’ll sure try.

So, Feeding Objects. Shower idea. Bounced off of Corey. Bought a domain name. Created a Tumblr site. And that was that.

As far as promotion goes, I threw it out on Twitter and Facebook. Submitted it to Boing Boing. Boing Boing ran an article on it, Gizmodo picked it up. And suddenly, I had seven thousand hits in one day.

Did the attention last? Sure didn’t. Page views stalled out like a Cessna headed for the sun in Flight Simulator. The website remains, but the activity has slowed to a crawl. I’m lucky if I get one submission a week.

I still like the idea a whole lot. It makes me laugh. And, for the amount of effort I put into creating and maintaining the site, I’ve received a lot of fun in return.

The final key, that I am missing in almost all of my projects, is sustained improvement and promotion. How do I keep the spreading the word without annoying the same people over and over again? How do I improve upon an idea instead of letting it sit and atrophy? And isn’t there another dumb idea I should be working on?

There is always another idea out there. The grass is always greener on the other side of the idea fence. So I leave the grass of Feeding Objects to grow brown as I see what is so great about this new grass. Feels pretty good between my toes. Cool and crisp for now.

I know I should focus. But I don’t. I move on to the next idea. That sounds like an issue that needs some fixing. Luckily, I just created a website for that purpose.

Oh! Did I tell you I finally got my first picture of someone feeding their penis to something this week? It took you almost a year, internet, but you got there. Good work!

I did not publish that picture.


  1. Were you quietly anticipating that penis picture?
    Hoping against hope that someone would be weird and secure enough to send it to you?

    Has humanity finally opened its metaphorical doors to the idea of objects eating penises?

    Oh, humanity. What wondrous things you consistently accomplish.
    I’m proud to own the correct number of chromosomes required to be a part of this species.

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